Wednesday, January 5, 2011

I've Always Wanted

Ever since I learned about Dragon*Con some time in college, I have wanted to go. A couple years ago, my wife and I were talking about going to some con or another, but we never got around to making any concrete plans. I want to make this the year when I go. I already added the dates for Comicon (Kim Harrison will be there!) and Dragon*Con (Oh, how to choose a track?!) to my iCal, and I'm hoping that I can make it to both of them.

I have very conflicted feelings about my desire to go to these events. On one hand, I feel completely ridiculous and childish. I'm going to turn 30 this summer (and that's going to be the subject of a separate post), and there is this voice in the back of my head, telling me that I should get over all this "kid stuff" and be more grounded and realistic. I am trying to be more of a responsible adult, and for the most part, I think I'm doing a decent job. I pay my bills on time and I love my job, and those seem to be the two things that qualify someone as having achieved "adult status" in our society. This is the first year in many years that I didn't re-read The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings over Winter Break. I'm sad that I didn't. That little voice makes my soul hurt.

Still, I don't think it matters how old I get in years; in my heart I am still in love with the world of the fantastical. I allow myself to be enchanted by beauty, transported by stories, and inspired by dreams. I'd rather read science-fiction or fantasy over non-fiction any day. There are a few upside to this whole getting older thing, though. One seems to be that I have expanded my aesthetic horizons through my exposure to the gothic, the macabre, and the twisted. Also, I have the money and the freedom to explore and indulge my interests and hobbies. So, it's not all bad.

Maybe tonight I will go home, dust off my books, and revisit Middle Earth for a while.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You don't have to give up Middle Earth or Narnia to be a grown-up (although it is ironic that Dawn Treader is this year's movie in which Lucy learns she will not be coming back). You just have to figure out new ways of balancing work and play. Only give up the childish and whiney - never give up the childlike wonder, enthusiasm, or glee.

Responsibility does not have to be boring. Responsibility just becomes a fact. And now life becomes a pas de deux of your inner child dancing with your outer adult ... sometimes they do get to switch places ya know.

The Eyes of The Crone said...

Oops - that was not supposed to anonymous - I was going to sign it...