What About Everything?

I'm going to be thirty this year. I'm not entirely happy about this fact, but I can't do anything to change it, so I suppose I ought to get used to it. It's not that there's anything inherently wrong with being thirty. Or twenty. Or forty. Or any other age, really. It's just that thirty feels like the end of a lot of things in a way that no other age has. I keep thinking about the things that I *haven't* done. There are a million things I have done. I'm married. I have a house. And a dog. And three cats. I love my job. I have a car that runs, and some really nice guitars. I've got enough money in the bank to pay my bills.

And I'll be damned if I don't keep looking around and thinking, "Ok, so what now? 'Cause really, this can't be *it*. Is this it? Is this all there is?"

What about all the things I haven't done? What about all the people I haven't been? What about the opportunities I missed? The dreams I neglected? The desires I pushed to the side? What about the doors that are closing that I can't get to open again? What about the roads I can't walk down any more?

I am really, really, really sooooooooooo not ok with this. I don't like anything that limits my options. And I don't like being told no. And thirty is feeling a lot like the universe holding up a big sign that says, "NO," in bold, black letters.

And so, a couple of songs that express the feelings a whole lot better than I can.


What About Everything by Carbon Leaf

Holiday quiet on these streets, except for some stubborn leaves
That didn't fall with the fall, and now they clatter in vain
Holiday sky, midnight clear
Wind is high, hard to steer
Old muffler rumbles like an old fighter plane
In search of some rest, in search of a break
From a life of tests where something's always at stake
Where something's always so far
What about my broken car?
What about my life so far?
What about my dream?
What about.....

What about everything?
What about aeroplanes?
And what about ships that drank the sea?
What about...
What about the moon and stars?
What about soldier battle scars
And all the anger that they eat?
I am not in need

Get away and come with me
Come away with me and we'll see
If I was right on that night, that a future was made
Before time takes each year, like a knife cuts it clear
It's school, then work and then life that just sharpens the blade
I think about time for fun
I think about time for play
Then I think about being done, with no resume
With no one left to blame
What about fortune and fame?
What about your love to obtain?
What about the ring?
What about....

What about everything?
What about aeroplanes?
And what about ships that drank the sea?
What about...
What about the moon and stars?
What about soldier battle scars
And all the anger that they eat?
I am not in need

Holiday quiet on these streets, except for some reason me
The hometown harbor lights bright, the sailboats clatter in vain
Holiday sky, midnight clear
Wind is high on this pier
I find it hard to complain when compared with what about...

What about everything?
What about aeroplanes?
And what about ships that drank the sea?
What about...
What about the moon and stars?
What about soldier battle scars
And all the anger that they eat?
What about...
What about aliens? What about you and me and...
What about gold beneath the sea?
What about...
What about when buildings fall?
What about that midnight phone call...
The one that wakes you from your peace?
Well, I am not, I am not, I am not in need


Birthday by The Cruxshadows

Roll out of bed, look in the mirror
And wonder who you are
Another year has come and gone
Today is your birthday
But it might be the last day of your life
What will you do if tomorrow it's all gone?
You won't be young forever
There's only a fraction to the sum
You won't be young forever
Nor will anyone
So...
Look at your life, who do you want to be before you die?
Look at your life, what do you want to do?
Look at your life, who do you want to be before you die?
Look at your life, you haven't got forever
And tell me what really matters
Is it the money and the fame?
Or how many people might eventually know your name?
But maybe you touch one life
And the world becomes a better place to be
Maybe you give their dreams another day
Another chance to be free
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
Look at your life, who do you want to be before you die?
Look at your, what do you want to do?
Look at your life, who do you want to be before you die?
Look at your life, it all comes back to you.